Healthstyle Blog

Positive Feelings Produce Positive Results

I spent MLK weekend (for those outside of the US Monday, January 19th was a national holiday celebrating MLK’s legacy) in Orlando, Florida at my son’s soccer tournament. I as well as other parents expressed a roller coaster of emotions while our sons played, ranging from elation to despair and a host of other emotions in between.

Through it all I made a conscious decision to utilize my self-coaching skills. The first thing I did before I started coaching myself was to decide on how I wanted to feel. Once that was established I took steps to think a certain way about the current situation (a win or a loss) to provide me with a natural path towards feeling the way I had established earlier on. My current situation which could have been a win or a loss was irrelevant. Take a look at Scenario A.

Scenario A

Current situation – My son’s team lost in the finals.
Thoughts about current situation – They worked so hard and made it to the finals, out of 30 teams.
Feelings evoked by thoughts about current situation – Pride and Excitement.
Action – Congratulate my son and express to him how proud I am of him and his teammates.
Ultimate Result – My son’s team came 2nd place.

2nd_place_timeyin

However it could have turned out this way:

Scenario B

Current situation – My son’s team lost in the finals.
Thoughts about current situation – My son and his team could have worked harder.
Feelings evoked by thoughts about current situation – Sad and Disappointed.
Action – Scolded my son on why his team lost.
Ultimate Result – My son is sad and loses confidence in his ability to play soccer.

As you see in the both scenarios the current situation remains the same, however my thoughts about the situation changed which ultimately affected my feelings, actions and results.

Your current Situation can trigger Thoughts.
Your Thoughts cause Feelings.
Your Feelings cause Actions.
Your Actions cause Results.

As you can see it is not the current situation causing you to feel  a certain way – it is your thoughts about the situation that affect how you are going to feel. I use this model with my private clients and can apply it to almost any situation. The root cause of every problem is not your current situation rather your thoughts about it.

The cause of problems can be traced to the way we think about our situation. This is another example of the model I use with my private clients frequently.

Current Situation – I am overweight.
Thoughts about current situation – I am over 40 and will always be overweight.
Feelings evoked by thoughts about current situation – Defeated.
Action – No exercise and overeating.
Ultimate Result – Gain weight.

Current Situation – I am overweight
Thoughts about current situation – So what if I’m over 40 I can still lose weight.
Feelings evoke by thoughts about current situation – Empowered, self-love and determination.
Action – Move more and eat only when my body needs it.
Ultimate Result – I begin to lose weight and feel energized.

As simple as this seems, it really works. I use this model with my clients and it truly works. A positive feeling will produce a positive action. Your current situation does not need to change right away for you to change your thoughts to feel differently which ultimately changes your action and result.

Your job does not have to change for you to feel differently about your job.

Your boss does not have to change for you to feel differently about your boss.

Your weight does not have to change for you to feel differently about your body.

Your mother does not have to change for you to feel differently about the relationship you have with her.

And ultimately your life does not have to change right away for you to feel differently about your life.

Try it out! Your current situation does not need to change right now. You have the amazing option to change your thoughts right now. Doing that will allow you to feel differently which ultimately changes your action and result.

You have the choice to change how you feel right now.

Go ahead and give it a try and let me know. Take a look at your current situation. Do you feel great. blah or very sad?  If you would like to feel differently consider looking at your thoughts about the situation. Changing your thoughts slightly towards a more positive thought will affect the way you feel. How do you feel now? Do you feel differently or not? I would love to hear from you, send an email to  kwavi@kwavi.com with comments or any questions you may have.

 

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Comments

  1. Bree Ward

    I like it when you said that the first thing you’ve done it to decide how you wanted to feel. I like your mentality that positive feelings produce positive results. That’s totally true because it depends on you set your mood within the day. My sister has been having issues emotionally that’s been affecting her health since she lost her job. She also has anger management and mood swing issues. We are planning to hire a health and emotional coach that has your determination and outlook to help her further. I hope it’ll work.
    https://thenewpathtohappiness.com/coaching/

    • Kwavi Agbeyegbe

      Yes we have the power to decide how we want to feel by what we choose to think.I hope your sister gets the help she needs.

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