Healthstyle Blog

This One System Can Sabotage Your Weight Loss Goals

Today I want to talk about something that has the power to derail your efforts in trying to lose weight or live a healthy lifestyle and has nothing to do with food and exercise. In fact you could be doing both of those things and still not be able to live a healthy lifestyle.

It has a lot to do with your thoughts. Your thoughts are powerful. They have the power to enable you to do things that you would not even envision but also they’re also able to tear down your goals just like that. Just through your thoughts.

There is a powerful connection between what you think (belief system) over and over again and the results that you get in life. If you believe that you are not going to lose weight and your mind keeps telling you “you’re not gonna lose weight, you won’t  lose weight”, you will give up at the slightest challenge or obstacle because you’re really looking for evidence that it won’t work. That’s what it is. You’ve told yourself “I’m not going to be able lose weight” and you’re trying anyway but then you have this other part of you saying “It’s not going to work, it’s not going to work.” When you do that, you’re looking for evidence for it not to work.

For example, if you’re trying to lose weight and you weigh yourself the first week and you get on the scale and say, “Oh, I’ve gained weight.” Do you know what you’re going to tell yourself? “See, it’s not working!” That’s because you’re thoughts have already told you that you can’t lose weight. So, you’re looking for an evidence and you found the evidence. Believe me, if you’re looking for evidence, you’ll find it. You will find evidence to support your belief. It has a lot to do with our thoughts. What are you thinking? What plays in your mind over and over again? What are your default thoughts? Some of us have default thoughts that are not positive such as “Oh, no! That’s not going to work” or “Oh, no! I tried that before” or “Oh, no one has really been able to do that.” No, someone can and that means it could be you.

Sometimes I have clients during a session who will say “You know what, Kwavi, I feel fat today.” I always ask them to explain to me what they meant by “I feel fat” because “fat” is not a feeling.  Most times, you feel fat because of your thoughts in your head. And I try to get them to come out of that because if you’re thinking that, do you have any positive thoughts associated with that? Most times, no. And I try to get them to think in a different way. Okay, maybe you gained more weight but you don’t have to feel this way because once you have that feeling, it’s over. You won’t even want to try anymore. I try to encourage them to think differently which brings me to the next section which talks about the choices.

You have a choice. If you have a thought that is not serving you well, if you have a thought that is not encouraging to you, if you have a thought that’s not leading you to your outcome, you have a choice to change it. Yes, you are in control of your thoughts. You can decide “You know what, I’m not going to do this today” based on what you’re thinking. You can say “Ah, you know what, maybe I’m going to write that book” and have those thoughts and then  align your actions with it. There is no way you’ll be able to align your actions if you feel you can’t do something. There’s no way. When you think you’re able to do something, that energizes you and makes you believe “Oh, wow, I can do that!” Then you put plans in place to make it happen but you won’t do that if you don’t believe it in the first place. It’s so easy for us to find evidence for what we want to believe. If you have a belief system that is not serving you, you will find the evidence for it. How about changing that for a better one and take actions to prove that it is correct? Most times when you change your belief system, you get to a point where those illogical beliefs will come back into your head and try to force the new one out of the way. But just stick with and try to your align actions so that whatever you believe will happen. If you feel that you will never be healthy, you won’t because you won’t even take action. There is no energy behind you taking action if it’s already a negative thought. You’re not gonna take action because you think it’s not gonna happen anyway. If you say, it’s not gonna happen it is very unlikely that you’re gonna take the effort to do what you need to do to become healthy. You won’t do that.

I remember years ago I was reading about Carl Lewis, the sprinter/long jumper. I remember them talking about his childhood when he had older siblings and they were the ones the parents focused on more. His mother was a world class hurdler and his father played football and also ran track. They had a school in New Jersey where they coached athletes but they never really focused on Carl Lewis as much. They kind of pushed him towards music but he was determined to excel at the long jump. You know what he did? At a very young age, he would get a piece of tape and he would line it up in his backyard and he measured to about 29 feet, 2 and 1/2 inches and his goal was to get to it. Bear in mind, at that point in time, no one had even jumped that far but he was so determined that it was gonna happen. And you know what, eventually he used that to get into the Olympics. He had to use that as his belief system and even though a lot of people discouraged him he used that to say “You know what, I’m going to be able to do this. I believe this and I’m gonna use this to encourage myself” and that’s what he did.

You have a choice to change your belief system. Your belief system is very powerful. It really is. What thoughts are you thinking and how do they align with the actions and results that you want? It seems simple but it’s difficult for a lot of people because sometimes we get into that mode in our life when we say “Ah, that’s not gonna happen!” but it can. We get into that mode because of our failures in the past but so what? Little babies, when they become toddlers and they’re learning how to walk, do you know how many times they fall down? I have yet to see a child who has not been able to walk unless they have a medical condition. Most babies no matter how long it takes them, eventually learn how to walk. Some faster than others but it happens to all. As many times as you failed in the past does not mean that you can’t succeed at a certain point.  Thinking that you can’t is holding you back. So, it’s important that we start to change that. That’s why I really want you to think about dismantling that belief system if the actions driven by that belief is not providing the outcome you want. Change that belief system. You have the choice to change that. If you believe you can lose weight, how would you act? Would you act like “Oh, whatever” or would you act “Okay, I’m determined to lose weight, I know I can, this is what I’m going do.” It’s a different energy.

I sometimes ran into some friends and clients who would say “Kwavi, if I lived close to you, I  would be  so healthy.” I always tell them, “You can lose weight and be healthy wherever you are. You can’t use external circumstances to determine if you lose weight or not. I am not gonna help you lose weight because I’m there. You should have that thought to begin with and that thought is only controlled by you. If you have that thought already, yes, you can lose weight. You can’t use external circumstances If you really want to lose weight. You can lose weight wherever you live in the world. Sometimes you can do it alone. You can get assistance but if you really want it and you have that belief in your mind that you can achieve this, it’s gonna happen. It happens in a different way. Sometimes when you’re trying to lose weight you might weigh yourself on the scale and sometimes there are days you might go up and sometimes you might go down. But if you truly believe that it’s gonna happen even when you have those days when the scale goes up, you don’t just get discouraged and give up. You will make it happen. You keep on going and that makes the difference.

It’s easy to be sidetracked by external circumstances, by things happening around us. I really want to encourage you to keep on going because when you live a healthy lifestyle, it just propels you to a different way of life. Your work improves, your relationships improve, your work as a mother improves. So many different areas are affected by your health. The same way they can kind of propel your goals, the same way they can kind of derail you. When your health isn’t where it needs to be, it can affect you in so many ways. Your health is like the foundation of a house where you need to make sure it’s solid and then you can build the house. If you build the house on shaky foundation, you’ll always going run into conditions and until you properly fix it, you’re not going to get the result of a solid house. So, think about your beliefs in your mind that are preventing you from losing weight. Think about that carefully and intentionally.

Then I want you to take the risk. Take the risk by believing in yourself. I want you to believe in yourself and take action. There’s just something powerful about believing in something and taking action to do it even if it has not come true yet. It’s a very powerful feeling. I’ll be honest with you, it’s almost impossible to achieve anything if you don’t believe in it. How’s that gonna happen when you don’t even believe it? Your energy is wrong. That’s one of the ways you can sabotage yourself. It could be for anything. It could be for your relationships, it could be for your health, it could for your kids. You can sabotage yourself just by your thoughts. And you’ll look for evidence “See, it didn’t happen. I told you so.” It’s not a game. We’re not trying to find out why things are not working for us. We need to challenge it in a different direction and even if it does not work out, at least you can say you tried.

The great thing about living a healthy lifestyle and taking steps to do that is you always win. You never lose because your health improves in some way. Even if you haven’t gotten to the goal that you want, you’re gonna feel different and energized. You’re gonna feel like “Oh, I feel a little bounce in my step”. That’s what I want for you. That’s what I’m encouraging you to do. Just take little, sustainable steps that overtime will make a difference.

When we talk about belief system, you have to remember that you are not controlled by external circumstances. You are internally controlled rather than externally controlled. Sometimes, you get into a new diet plan and you need to get rid of junk food you have in your home. That’s okay but my philosophy is leave the junk food in there and see how you fare. If you go to it, see what happens when you restrain and tell yourself “Why do I want to eat this now? Is it because I’m hungry or is it because something else is going on?” Just sit with that thought and feel that feeling. It’s interesting.

I like to tell my clients “It does not matter what you have in your home because I’m preparing you for life.” What I mean by that is you’re going to encounter dinner parties, you’re going go to events, you’re going to have holidays, you’re going to go to barbecues, you’re going to go to so many things that you have no control over. What are you going to do? So, if you’re able to figure out what is triggering you eating that particular item when you’re not hungry, you’ll be able to use that when you go out. I actually like it when I have clients who are able to learn this when they go to an event and there’s a buffet of food laid out with lovely, yummy food. And you’re thinking “Hmmm… do I really want this?” But then you have learnt and been able to communicate with your mind, your thoughts and your body and be able to look at it and say “You know what, I’ll have some but I don’t have to have a lot” or if you don’t really feel like eating and you’re not hungry then you don’t have to. That is the true power when you are able to do that because you cannot control all the external circumstances. You just can’t. That to me is what I consider freedom. Freedom to eat or not eat despite what’s going on around you. That’s the key. That’s a wonderful place to be. It’s life. I mean, the holiday season alone is tough with everything going on there but if you already have your thoughts align and your belief system, there could be food there and you can decide not to eat but then it’s more of a conscious effort.

If you want to lose weight quickly and temporarily, there are lots of plans out there for you. However, if you are interested in losing weight permanently, gaining self-confidence and paying attention to what is going in your mind is what will get you there. It will get you there because you will really have understanding of who you are, you are paying attention to your thoughts and you not letting your emotion drive your actions. That’s how you achieve permanent weight loss.





  1. Dreg navarro

    Way to healthy life Thanks

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